December 2007
15 posts
It's Behind You!!.....
…”Oh No It Isn’t!” Well, It’s pantomime season. If you don’t have Pantomime in your part of the world, let me explain it in the briefest way i can. Pantomime: A short story where the men dress as women, the women dress as men, the hero goes through a series of adventures and triumphs in the end, but it’s the bad guy that every really loves and remembers...
Come The Revolution.....
…..I will make it compulsory to send out the instruction manuals for things before the thing itself. Maybe then the Y chromosomed population could stop dreaming of owning light-sabres for 10 mins and actually READ THE STINKIN MANUAL! DOH! So apparently you cant just whack the doo-da onto the wotsit and hope to have the jewels of heaven revealed Tommy Cooper style. (Jus’ Like That!)...
Make way for the Mounties!!
They say you always remember the first time you fell in love. I know I do. Heaven only knows who the girl was though. But those old feelings come flooding back, the increased heart rate, the gentle perspiration, the panic over whether your breath smells / feet stink / hair sticks up etc, and the desperate clenching of the butt to hold that fart captive, whilst trying to maintain a smile that looks...
Dr. Celestron I presume?
…So there I was, languishing at work, the mountain of paperwork crashing down on me like an angry concert pianist performing Beethoven’s fifth. When my cell-phone (I call it that because they gave it me in prison) stared flashing and beeping that a new text message had arrived. It was from No.1 wife. “SCP HR” Which I took to mean that Scamp our dog has rabies. But it seems...
Results just in....
Another clear night. But what to do? I have in the post a Schmidt-Cassegrain Optical tube assembly, and I have in the house the Toys R Us Special. Also have the Canon 400D digital SLR camera and a tripod for it. It is time for an experiment! I have always been fond of empirical research, ever since finding out that ‘Empiricism’ is not the pursuit of a galaxy ruled by Sith Lords who can...
Forsooth & Gadzooks!
‘Tis done fair gentlefolk of Internet Village! Verily is an ample chest of golden sovereigns winding its merry way to the Wise Man of Exeter. The Old Nag express should be delivering the various bits over the next few days……. It’s time to play with the big boys!!
Unbelievable!!
How often does a guy get it SO right, that it feels like it should be wrong? Hows about this for a list of rights!! 1) Bought New £14.99 Telescope for No.1 Son - RIGHT!! 2) Performed reverse Apache raindance all sunday night - RIGHT!! 3) Waited up freezing cold with crystal clear skies for Saturn - RIGHT!! 4) Took a gamble and woke up No.1 Wife to see Saturn - RIGHT!! Now, I don’t use...
Just waiting for that glimpse....
…of Saturns rings. She’ll be along in an hour or so. It seems that No.1 Wife (which is not in the strictest sense the same as No.1 Choice),(Oh boy! Now I’m gonna pay) has taken exception to my statement that she is hard to impress. I heard her on the phone to her mother complaining bitterly, ”It’s hard to be impressed by Orion, when you are married to Adonis.” ...
So far, So Good...
…ness gracious me but it’s COLD!! The skies have cleared beautifully. Out came the £14.99 special as soon as the mandatory kisses and hello’s and “What time do you call this?“‘s were over with. And I suppose we now begin the all important learning curve, and kick right off with lesson one. LESSON ONE: Finding anything in the eyepiece is really hard. This was...
Is Tonight the night??
It’s all gearing up towards a clear evening. Double bonus because the International Space Station will be zooming over my garden again tonight, sadly without its buddy Atlantis, and I do like to sit there in the tub waving to the astronuts as they go by. I sip champagne and they sip recycled urine. But the excitement builds with every cloud that dissipates. Are we gonna be blown away? Or...
David Attenborough...
…has been on, apparently he has never seen a fish bubbling “Bartholomew” either. But it got me to thinking, if he wanted to see REALLY wild animals, why didn’t he go to Sri Lanka. There he could have watched Guerillas & Tigers. But it’s still raining. Even after my best efforts. In ancient American-Indian tradition I have sung and danced my way through at least...
"Would Sir care to sample the wine?"
I HAVE A TELESCOPE!! Well, that’s not strictly true. No.1 Son has a telescope. I took him to a toy superstore to buy him Jabba the Hutt from Star Wars, but realising that having that thing sat on the shelf would be tantamount to having an effigy of the mother-in-law sat there, we took the mutual decision to get something else. Sorry Jabba. Try Botox. The great thing is that No.1 Son was...
Let it rain......
….all day, then be fine all night. Which is diametrically opposed to my previous prayers to the weathermen during my previous existence as a window cleaner. Sorry, Transparent Panel Maintenance Engineer. And before you ask, yes, I DID see some sights. Mainly not pretty ones, which ironically, is also the opposite of what I was hoping to be enchanted by in the night skies with the purchase of...
There goes my Galaxy virginity!
Still no telescope. Although it IS ordered, I am waiting on a new cretin card with favourable rates, so it won’t be here for a while. I’m hoping by the end of this week, by which time we will have had enough crap weather to merit some clear skies. However! Following the advice freely doled out by the Star Gazers Lounge entourage, I took to the skies with my trusty £35 binoculars, as...
A Lady in Waiting.....
The Lady in question being La Lune, of course. And so it begins. The days of lying on freezing slabs or soaking grass with a pair of binoculars glued to the eyes will hopefully soon be a distant happy memory, (although the rheumatism caused by said activity is likely to be a distant future experience). The helpful night pixies at www.stargazerslounge.com have guided my uninformed hands towards...
